“It will come.”

It will come. The ones who deserve the purest love are oftentimes the ones who wait the longest. You get to the soul of a thing by experiencing it until it whittles down to its most basic yet potent form, like rose oil.  -Aleck Maramag-Arradaza, whom I look up to and look for when I need the right words.

331/ January 9, 2012 - Again, a disclaimer. D.—I know of this Filipino poet who broke up with his partner by saying: “I’m much too happy with you. I can no longer write.”I wish to borrow those words while keeping all my words and keeping you. I’m much too happy with you but “I’m much too happy” does not say it right.Instead I borrow from the past for contrast. The fastest way to use up all my words is to turn my inkwell upside down, so I’m letting it all spill out, the shadows of secrets that I tell you when we both can’t sleep because we’ve had too much coffee or laughter and lightness and everything else suffuses, becomes white noise. I need weight to anchor me to this page, and I look at my past for pulse, and I look at you and think of how I want my children to have your eyelashes. We’ve talked about it before, how maybe we aren’t right for each other, how I’m too hopeless when you’re hopeful, and the reverse, but I’ll take my chances and fold my worries until we prove ourselves right by proving us wrong. High-res

331/ January 9, 2012 - Again, a disclaimer.

D.—

I know of this Filipino poet who broke up with his partner by saying: “I’m much too happy with you. I can no longer write.”

I wish to borrow those words while keeping all my words and keeping you. I’m much too happy with you but “I’m much too happy” does not say it right.

Instead I borrow from the past for contrast. The fastest way to use up all my words is to turn my inkwell upside down, so I’m letting it all spill out, the shadows of secrets that I tell you when we both can’t sleep because we’ve had too much coffee or laughter and lightness and everything else suffuses, becomes white noise. I need weight to anchor me to this page, and I look at my past for pulse, and I look at you and think of how I want my children to have your eyelashes. 

We’ve talked about it before, how maybe we aren’t right for each other, how I’m too hopeless when you’re hopeful, and the reverse, but I’ll take my chances and fold my worries until we prove ourselves right by proving us wrong.

Saline drops, Vicks inhaler, repeat. Despite this dreadful bug, I’ve managed to update both my outfit blog and my three-six-five. I wonder if I reveal too much sometimes, but no, I value language. I must not use it to lie or be lackluster and leave behind details (the tales).

In the mornings (part 1)

I feel like returning the favor a little so I wrote about the shoot with Edric over here. Here are snippets for those who want it quick, quick, quick.

I like how Edric’s photos have that dreamy film quality in them. Here, I feel the gentleness of age, as if an entire story has been told before the camera’s click. I fiddled around with some of his lens filters, which not a lot of photographers use anymore. It’s true then— we’re all storytellers in a way. I color mine with words and punctuation. Edric tells his stories with filters and light.

Perhaps Edric’s best quality as a photographer/storyteller is that he lets his characters come alive on their own. I hardly felt like I was posing. We’d talk and he’d snap a picture mid-sentence. He managed to catch the minutest mannerisms, the shadow of a smirk, or the sheepish smile before a yawn. I felt at ease. Nothing felt contrived because all it was, truly, was an honest conversation.

(Link to the photo set here.)

edricchen:

When I first stumbled upon Camille’s blog, I couldn’t help but read through it. This lady has one beautiful soul. Never mind that she’s just in her early twenties. Some people go through life differently and get to experience what it really means to be independent. They usually come out wiser.

In the past, I thought I was weird and so that made me feel alone. Then, I started meeting people who shared similar thoughts about life. Camille is absolutely right when she said that we share ourselves to wider audiences in order to find people who are like us. Somehow, our little revolutions subtly make way for grander things.

Recognition does not even matter anymore.

We took long breaks just talking and talking and talking, and this is surprising to me because I’m not much of a talker, really. I listen, I nod, I take notes and quip at the light, little moments. Let’s use a camera cliche for Edric and I— we clicked.

Thank you for sharing your views on social media, and the wider scope, the world. Can’t wait for the next batch, mister. :) 

And yes, A. was there because the bride is our common friend. We were there as strangers, as if we had never met, as if we had no intentions of meeting. I’d enter a room at the exact moment he was poised to leave. I suppose that Stars anthem will always be right. Your ex-lover is dead (to you). And you’re not sorry there’s nothing to save. High-res

And yes, A. was there because the bride is our common friend. We were there as strangers, as if we had never met, as if we had no intentions of meeting. I’d enter a room at the exact moment he was poised to leave. I suppose that Stars anthem will always be right. Your ex-lover is dead (to you). And you’re not sorry there’s nothing to save.